Hyun Bin, Saranghae …

Wkwkwkwwkwkwkwk… it’s quite embarrassing to write the title … but anyway … I have to go on writing this.

Ahemmm #blush … I don’t know how to start or whether I have to write this in Indonesian or English … o my … o my …

After so many yearsssssss with only Brad Pitt in my heart, this time I accidently have a crush with … #taking a deep… very deep breath … Hyun Bin …

It started with my tweet that I wanted to watch Korean Drama … for a simple reason…: writing phd thesis is HELLLL ... I was soooo depressedddd … I can’t get anything right … I want to scream… I want to yell … I want to throw tantrum … I want to hit the wall… I want to cry … anything and everything … but I simply CAN NOT DO IT… the show must go on ...

But I have to vent up this rather messy emotions, right? Since becoming angry and crazy are not wise options, crying is a better one… But … again… I can’t cry… these brain and heart are just full of emotions that I feel like going to explode but I even do not have the energy to release it … hahahahahhaha… So, I need something to stimulate me … #please do not think pervertly … And the option goes tooooo: Korean Drama …

Not that I am a big fan of Korean Drama, nope. My reference is very limited. The last drama that I watched in full episode was Meteor Garden 2 which is not even Korean (uugghhh). Another one (this one is Korean, I am sure): Jewel of the Palace, Jang Geum which story did not leave any impression at all for me since I spent most of my time drooling at the food Jang Geum cooked… #mianhamnida unni

But (again) … I remember the time I watched “Winter Sonata” and “Endless Love” (???) long ago which certainly made me crying … so saaaddd #o ..me and my gentle heart … hekeke … I also know many friends who cry when they watched Korean Drama. Anyway … those all are about my desperate attempts to find something to make me cry … uh oh …

Okay … later, with the help of my little creature … Dantedanty, I got hold of the full episodes of Secret Garden. The main characters are Kim Joo Won and Gil Ra Im. If you want to know the story just try googling it yourself … okey??? …

Right, here comes the hilarious part. I never … never … never thought that I can fall for a Korean actor … nooooooo … big NOOOOOO … for me, they are waaayyy toooo beautiful … in a girlie sense. Back to twitter, I once had a bit of bantering with Andrie Christyanti about Korean actors… She told me that they are handsome. I firmly said no way. She told me to check for Chansung. Tough luck! … I googled Chansung just to find the photo of him wearing pink fur jacket … OMG … I can stand a man in pink jacket or a man in fur jacket … but not the combination of those two … whoooaaaa … it’s just too much for me to chew …

Ok, Secret Garden allows me to watch Kim Joo Won, an arrogant jerk but naively silly man too … Kim Joo Won is a character whom if I meet him in real life, I will gladly volunteer to punch his face. He is sooo irritatingly selfish as if the earth revolves around him that I wish someone like that can go to hell straight away and suffer. But at the same time he is silly and lonely … he loves only himself and none but himself… so what can I say???... But here, in the series, he is also adorable… not to say that he is handsome (beautiful) like a china doll… #exaggerating

Fine, now, Kim Joo Won is a fictitious character. At this point, I was curious about the actor who plays this arrogant jerk…. I think the actor played his part quite well especially the part where he switched soul with the girl. Some cultural differences made me confuse but in general it is a really funny series with off course tear jerking parts in some episodes ( FYI: I managed to cry … finally …as I didn’t watch it in one go but within the period of almost 3 months… hehe …).

Soooo I decided to use my magic wand called Google search engine to find the actor. Andddd the actoorr is HYUN BIN …

Ahemmmm, another tough luck happened… it happened that Hyun Bin was and is (I think) making a big headline with his decision to serve military service as a marine (woaaa…) started last year and will end in the end of this year. It just happened that the military dignitaries (?) in Korea use him to promote the importance of joining military service especially after the latest incident with North Korea. It happened that he visited Indonesia as a PR for Korean military. It just happened that the photo I saw for the first time was his photo when he was saluting in his military uniform. Not a Kim Joo Won type or a Korean Hallyu star type but a more down-to-earth kind of guy … (did I write “guy” here? ;p) …

He is so humanely handsome … and serious … #uh oh … I mean he doesn’t look like a guy who because of his fame becomes playful and use his fame as an advantage. He also looked shy a couple of time in the videos I watched in youtube. . (OMG … seriously, I am stalking him too??? In youtube??? I did it unconsciously though … Just realized!). I don’t know whether it is typically Korean or not to be that shy even when he is almost 30 (which means that he is mature enough) and come on … you are a famous actor, Hyun Bin.

I become more impressed when I watched the video of his visit to Indonesia where he who was supposed to do his job as a PR officer for Korean military, was invited (or forced?) to come up the stage to do an unofficial fan meeting with the Indonesian fans. He literally said a couple of times that he was there in his capacity as Korean military PRO, “The government sent me.” That’s basically what he said. It seemed that he did not want to make an impression that he mixed his roles as the pro and the actor. He was in the military uniform and his expression was also formal and serious … #o boy … you sure know how to behave, don’t you…

So and so … my heart goes for him … wkwkwkwkkwk … funny … just feeling strange … when I started to like Brad Pitt… I was in my 20s… but now, I am in my 40s … Ooooooo poorrrr Hyun Bin … You’ve got an ahjumma as a fan … ooo no … #silly :p … anyway … because we breathe the same air, it would be too much to ask for more (this is the lyric of Scar, Secret Garden ost)…

Hyun Bin, …

(sama dengan judul diatas… udh g sanggup lagi nulisnya… hehehehehe).

Ps. I do not know how long I will feel like this but considering that I am very faithful to Brad Pitt (from 1994 when he played as Tristan in the Legend of the Fall up to now…) even when he marries other woman … #ouch it hurts … this feeling may last long … hehe …

Note: I think I should write a bit more here. I realize that there are some differences in nature and in culture between Korean fans and other fans (say… Western fans). I just want to say that this entry doesn’t intend to make fun of Hyun Bin or Korean actors (when I say that they are too beautiful in girlie sense) although I probably put it in a very playful way of writing.

I am a good friend? No???

This is just to show u how bitchy I am sometimes ... even in a dream ...

Last night I dreamed of someone I know (I prefer to keep his name anonymous-- wkwkwkwkwk... this is one of the disadvantages of English. Still u know that this someone is a he ... not a she ... ;p). He said that there would be some other friends joining us. Later I met those two other friends. They told me that they were going to watch a circus because this particular circus performed "Dumbo" the flying elephant. I looked at those two friends curiously (that's what I dreamed of doing) and blurted, "Why do you need to go to the circus? You are FAT ... you can watch urself."

Goodness me ...

Dancing with love

I wanna dance under the moon
Float in the air with fireflies
Tango with the darkness
Free myself to the cool air

I wanna dance in the rain
Feel the raindrops touch my eyes
Sense them caress my cheeks
Let them kiss my lips

I wanna dance under the sun
Race with the heat
Embrace the sunray
Sweat with passion

I wanna dance with love
Nestle in its warmth
Breathe in its beauty
Surrender to its loveliness

A Friend

I was not there when you were born
I was not there when you grow up
I just turn up when I cross your line
I just pop up when I meet your way

I might not be a good friend
I am not always there when you are mad
I might not be a nice one
I am not always there when you are sad
I might not be reliable
I am not always there when you fall
And … you see …
I might not be too friendly

But …

A friend is not something you can buy
A friend is not something you can throw away
A friend is not something you can forget
A friend is not something you can let go

So, like it or not … you just have to take it
That I am your friend…
(even when you think that I am a curse … )

Ketika Igor Ditolak Cwe

Sebagai teman, paling susah kalau pas Igor ditolak cintanya sama orang yang lagi diincernya. Kaya’ waktu dia suatu hari bilang, ‘Dia (mengacu ke cewek yg lagi dia suka) bilang lebih baik kami berteman aja.’ Atau pas dia kirim sms ‘Aku patah hati. Ternyata dia sudah punya pacar.’ Or sekedar meracau, ‘Aku suka sama dia. Dia tidak pernah nolak aku ajak pergi setelah aku bilang aku suka sama dia. Tapi dia nggak bilang apa-apa.’

Ikut berduka tapi juga bingung gimana cara menghiburnya. Harga dirinya tinggi banget kalau berhubungan dengan hal yang satu ini. Dia tidak mau dikasihani meskipun kasihan juga kalau dengar ceritanya. Tapi dibuat guyon juga nggak bisa karena dia akan tersinggung dan ‘sulking’. Kalau udah tersinggung, dia akan pasang muka ‘gelap’ ke aku. Lucu kan? Yang mbuat patah hati siapa, yang dimarahi siapa. Dia juga model ‘patah tumbuh hilang berganti’. Paling sebentar kemudian dia akan jatuh cinta sama cewek lain. Jadi aku biasanya cuma bisa nyengir dan nggak ngomong apa-apa. Paling banter aku tanya, ‘Kamu nggak apa-apa?’ Yang dijawab dengan, ‘Kalau aku nggak baik-baik saja, aku nggak akan main ke sini hari ini. Diam di rumah.’ Or ‘Yang penting sekarang buat aku adalah selesai kuliah…’

Ya oke lah… whatever you say…

Semoga dengan pacarnya kali ini, yang juga temanku dan temannya (dan yang kurasa emang paling suaaabbbarrr dan cocok buat dia), dia akan awet.

Say something!!!

Is it too difficult for you to tell me what’s in your mind?
Not even a word of protest?
Or simply say the word ‘Fvck’?

Don’t look at me like that
Your silence stabs my heart
I can’t even say sorry

Do I have to hit you to make you angry?
So u can shout at me and make me feel better?

*Untuk Flx… mengenang kejadian waktu mundur ujian skripsi: “You’re just too unreal to be true.”*